Response to a calling by Jennette McCurdy ...

She asked how to be more funny on Instagram ...
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Dear one of the barely few remained, very important, alive individuals in the world to me, I don't have the stupidity to offer you my advice on how to be funny as your wit happen to be inborn, and I don't have the autonomous heart to allow myself to judge you on how to make your appearance on Instagram more engaging, in case that's what you meant by "more fun", but as you may happen to have heard of, my brain seems to be full of hope by your existence and the windowless castle on my heart, closed to nearly all other girls, happens be a tipi for you, so if you happened to walk inside this tipi of a no more existing tribe as if with the curiosity of children, that's what you might find first:

I am honestly thankful that you told "I will respect your boundaries" and you know, I am not all interested in argumenting with everyone who is in denial of what is of value to me but as you are one of the barely few remained, very important, alive individuals in the world to me, I have to numb out all emotional part of my existence to just receive your expressions on such matters for me. I don't like it when you write "sex object" under a photo of Jennette McCurdy's face or make a collection of all the not so good photos of her, beneath it "I'm so humble!" Certainly you can beat nearly everyone in pointing out all the instances in Jennette McCurdy's life that should make all my affections for her to be unjustifiable but I am born as a human too and I know my life if not extremely worse, is no equal to hers, and I saw the truth in life to be:

"O ye who believe! Turn unto Allah in sincere repentance! It may be that your Lord will remit from you your evil deeds and bring you into Gardens underneath which rivers flow, on the day when Allah will not abase the Prophet and those who believe with him. Their light will run before them and on their right hands; they will say: Our Lord! Perfect our light for us, and forgive us! Lo! Thou art Able to do all things. [66:8]1"

and I guess the understanding and acceptance about one's past and present mistakes are a good door towards turning back to the God in sincere repentance and where else one can turn to be purified, and I can't read inside Jennette's heart but why shouldn't you be grateful that she knows about her mistakes, and I don't think she needs to be reminded about them in public, but I agree, most of what you said about her were already public and it should have rather been a warning for me not to be blind about her ...

I never wished to provoke you to prove me however you could, that I don't know Jennette McCurdy and shouldn't be allowed to read her heart, as I said "look, it's not easy for her to say I love you to her fans" I didn't want to have a wrong opinion from her than most of her colleagues and subtly indicate I want to be with her, if she ain't an actress. I owed her all the nice things in my life since then, even if she had followed the recommendations of "How to be a female pop star in 2014" and indeed I am happy that it is not that way and I hope she be happy about it too, and all these aside I believe it is possible to even be a filmmaker in our times without all the stuff we don't like about it, maybe then we won't be praised by HollyWood's behind the scene businessmen but art is not meant to help grow the stomach of the rich ... So, yeah, if you really want to know, it makes me vomit to read "I love you with --- -- -----!" I can't get it. But I praised Jennette McCurdy because it seemed to me those moments she is more herself, not that I wish her to be the person I can love ...

Dear one of the barely few remained, very important, alive individuals in the world to me, I haven't met Jennette McCurdy in person but I am afraid Jennette McCurdy is the person I love and in case you disagree with me, I hope the God makes everyone who disagrees on this matter to be wrong ...

Dear one of the barely few remained, very important, alive individuals in the world to me, if you want to respect my boundaries, I hope the God had made me more successful than you in regard of being nice to Jennette McCurdy, but even if only for respecting my boundaries, treating Jennette McCurdy respectful is part of it, or maybe better said, lovingkindness2 for her, if you really want to respect me ...

I rather feel belonging to a generation of dead people and perhaps unborn individuals, perhaps one of those John Keats as I found his words resonates to me, if I could have been someone special for Jennette McCurdy: "I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet — You have ravish’d me away by a Power I cannot resist; and yet I could resist till I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavored often “to reason against the reasons of my Love.” but I guess people rather panic than to ever imagine feeling like this for someone, not to think of if someone feel that way for them, so I hope you forgive my behaviors that are not that of people of our times ...

Évariste Galois died 20 years old, John Keats died 26 years old and I feel too lonely and wish for this distance between me and the One come to end sooner than later, if He happened to accept one who did nothing of value unless it was His gift and He made others believe it was the result of labor of a valueless servant.

  1. Marmaduke Pickthall's translation of Quran. ↩︎

  2. Borrowed from: "This it is which Allah announceth unto His bondmen who believe and do good works. Say (O Muhammad, unto mankind): I ask of you no fee therefor, save lovingkindness among kinsfolk. And whoso scoreth a good deed We add unto its good for him. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Responsive. [42:23]" – M.P.'s translation ↩︎


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